Book Review - The First Time Father by Thomas Alfie

 

The First Time Father by Thomas Alfie is a step-by-step guide for first-time fathers. From preparing yourself mentally and physically for the birth to coping with the new addition while also supporting the new mother. The author says, "It covers every aspect related to pregnancy, childbirth, and early childhood roles in a simple language that can be understood by anyone." Every angle to being a new dad is covered, including a cheat sheet and special tips. Thomas Alfie wrote this book because he struggled when becoming a dad. 

Thomas Alfie felt that there were not enough books for dads, and he wrote The First Time Father to share what he has learned from his and his wife's experiences of bringing three babies into the world. Am I giving my partner the support she needs? What should I do when my baby cries? How do I cultivate a bond with my new baby? Read The First Time Father by Thomas Alfie to discover the answers to these and other questions.

When I first saw The First Time Father on the bookshelf, I thought it was a brilliant idea for first-time dads. The mum is growing the baby, and she gets most of the attention. Some dads struggle with how they fit into this new world. Thomas Alfie has covered every aspect of a dad's journey through pregnancy and looking after a new baby.

There are so many things I disliked about this book. I appreciate that Thomas Alfie has written this book to be user-friendly. However, some of the humour is not acceptable. For example, on page thirty-seven: " Even the most hardened tightwad will struggle to take a trip to this store without absolutely spunking their load, which is what got you into this predicament in the first place." A paragraph also describes how a woman's breasts become more prominent and tender, and she does not want the dad anywhere near her. The author feels that for the dad, it is like seeing cute puppies in a pet shop window and not being able to buy them! Also, I did not particularly appreciate that the author describes his wife as lazy when she is heavily pregnant and too exhausted to do household chores in the evening. In contrast, an exhausted new father should take every opportunity to rest!

I would not recommend The First Time Father by Thomas Alfie to anyone in its current form. The book does not appear to have been edited or proofread at all. Numerous errors on most pages make this book very difficult to read. The humour is inappropriate and sometimes borders on what I would expect from a Playboy magazine. Moreover, Thomas Alfie puts the new dad in a great light whatever he does while saying the new mum should be able to cope because she is the one who has had the baby! 

I rate The First Time Father by Thomas Alfie 0 out of 5 stars as I did not enjoy reading it. In particular, there is a need for proofreading and editing. The fact I found some of the passages unnecessarily crude. Moreover, the lack of empathy for the mum is dangerous because if first-time dads were to behave in some of the ways described, the relationship would not last long!

I would like to thank Thomas Alfie for a free copy of The First Time Father in exchange for my unbiased review.  You can see more of my reviews here :  http://onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-tara-d-morgan.html

Book Review - Smart Love by Vincent Fudge II

Smart Love by Vincent Fudge II is a self-help relationship manual that uses the author's experience and volatile relationship problems to help others mend broken relationships. The author uses the alias Edward for this autobiographical book. Edward is married to Ebony, and the couple has two children, Elizabeth, born before the marriage, and Elijah, born after. We learn quickly that this is a toxic relationship, but Fudge bravely tells the story warts and all so that we can learn from his experiences. In the book's first chapter, we learn that many trigger points set the couple fighting. After a particularly explosive argument, Edward pushes Ebony's head into a wall, the police are called, and Edward spends a night in prison. He realizes that the relationship has hit a watershed. It is make or break time, and this realization is what sets in motion the writing of Smart Love. It seems to be the age-old problem of a couple having a sexual bond who otherwise do not seem to like one another but stay together because they have children. Their relationship is one of emotional, physical, and verbal abuse and can be started by both Ebony and Edward. The first thing the couple works through is their communication skills, and the author gives the reader lots of practical advice to change toxic relationship patterns. It takes Ebony and Edward a year of hard work to become more like the couple they want to be.

I liked that despite the subject matter being unpleasant, the book is written in a very down-to-earth way, and there are many lessons readers can learn from the practical steps laid out by Edward. I also liked all the analogies used, and they helped to clarify what Edward was teaching, e.g., page 190 - 'Think about people as flowers: there are many different types that have different fragrances, bloom at different times of the year, and require varying amounts of sunshine and water.'

I found this book immensely frustrating as Edward and Ebony claim to love one another, but their incompatibility is the root cause of their problems. The couple is trying to avoid upset to their children by divorcing. However, children pick up on the atmosphere and hear the fights, which begs the question, wouldn't the children be happier if their parents split up?

Smart Love has a plethora of grammatical and spelling errors and does not appear to have been edited or proofread at all, e.g., page 13 - 'How you work on fulfilling the vision is by defining what needs to be done to fulfill the vision.' This sentence does not flow very well, and the spelling should be fulfil. Because of all the errors and my frustration with the relationship, I am rating this book  3 out of 5 stars.

I recommend this book to adults or older teenagers who want to learn new ways to work through their relationship problems. There is no sex in this book, but there is some swearing; hence it would not be an appropriate book for younger people.

Thank you to Vincent Fudge II for a free copy of this book in exchange for an impartial review.

You can read more of my reviews here :  http://onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-tara-d-morgan.html